Love your neighbor, we need each other

Fear and polarization are tearing our nation apart, preventing us from solving the very real problems facing us, whether in families, churches, communities, the world. The rare times we listen to others we do so to rebut rather than understand. But then true listening means being open to understanding and change rather than “being right.” Probably the greatest barrier to resolving the conflicts that devastate so many of us is the self centered belief that we have the divine right to impose our way of life, thought, religion, government on others.

Reading an old Tony Hillerman book about the Navajo culture I was reminded the difference between “white” and “Indian” cultures is: “white” culture is based on individualism while “Indian” culture is communal with complicated systems of inter-dependencies and shared property. Instead of making values judgments as to whether one is better or worse, it behooves us to we acknowledge our differences and respect other ways of doing and being. Many marriages break up because the two “partners” come from very different family systems and instead of seeking a new or middle ground they try to change each other.

We have so much going for us as a nation that it's sad we are becoming a people of “me” rather than “we.” Surely we can find that balance between “my” needs and wants and “your” needs and wants. Surely we can find ways to respect our differences while protecting the rights of everyone. For instance, why do we have to choose between no guns or anything goes? Surely there is a middle ground where I can feel safe walking down a city street or sending my grandchildren to school without worrying about some angry gun owner venting his rage on “innocents.” We can, if we choose, respectfully work together by acknowledging our differences without dividing ourselves into them against us. In the end, there is no them or us. There is only ”us” so we'd do well to remember that Jesus said, “ a house divided against itself cannot stand.”

Much as we worship at the altar of individualism and individual rights, we cannot exist for long apart from community. We need each other. Farmers raise our food. Stores provide goods. Laborers create the products we buy, harvest our food. Wholesalers, managers, sales clerks, teachers, truckers, inventors, technicians, secretaries, government employees, restaurant workers all provide needed services. These are only a few examples of our inter-related, inter-dependent lives. There is no such thing as a self made man. Even the Warren Buffets need the millions of little people “slaving” away at low paying jobs to accumulate their wealth and power.

Whether in Congress, the Chamber of Commerce, labor unions, local governments, churches or families, we'd do well to focus on “we the people” instead of “me the individual.” Ultimately what is best for you will be best for me, because I can't exist without you. We'd do well to remember that when we are engaged in a family conflict or international politics.

Joyce Shutt is pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church.