The power of forgiveness

Aging is interesting. While my outside parts are showing signs of wear and tear, my insides feel much the same, with a few exceptions, the biggest being I am at peace with myself and the world, and hopefully a bit wiser. While it is true that much goes on in the world that disappoints, hurts, and frightens me, I realize that the only person I have any control over is myself and that whatever positive change starts I hope to effect always starts with me! When I change the way I function and react, others are forced to change as well.

The profound wisdom of the Serenity Prayer has been significant in y life. “God grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace, Taking this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it...”

Aging has taught me the power of forgiveness, the futility of needing to punish the wrongdoer. Harboring negativity inevitably feels like pouring a cup of poison for my offender and then drinking it myself. Forgiveness frees me to look at what happened through transformed eyes, loosing the cords of mistakes binding me to the past by releasing the strands I hold of others guilt. In the end forgiveness makes my life safer and better by turning my enemies into friends, or at least, non enemies.

A true story illustrating this truth: In the early 60's a Korean family came to New York so their gifted son could study medicine, One evening he was murdered by 3 teen gang members. At their sentencing hearing the devastated parents spoke against the death penalty and lengthy incarceration. Since their son was no longer living, they expected these very boys to pick up the dream they'd destroyed by killing their son. They asked the court's to require the boys finish their high school and get college degrees while incarcerated, and they'd pay any costs incurred. God was asking them to adopt these boys and pour all of their love and resources into the very ones who had killed their son. Anything less than the complete transformation of these boys would make their son's death a tragic waste. When the boys came up for parole they asked to have them released into their care. This they said they needed for their own healing.

And so the miracle of forgiveness began... and continues its work through the years, for this quiet Korean couple visited those boys while incarcerated week after week, year after year. They arranged for their education, counseling and religious training with the courts help. Once the boys were released they took them into their home, claiming them as their sons. By refusing to define the boys according to their past, they helped everyone involved see these broken street thugs through a completely different lens. Today one boy is a doctor who runs a street clinic, another teaches in a ghetto school, and third is a missionary in Korea.

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Loose the cords of mistakes and hate binding us as we release the strands of others mistakes. 

Joyce Shut is pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church.