Birthday musings

I recently celebrated my birthday. Perhaps getting closer to 80 is a factor, but I get really irritated with the way we “oldsters” buy into our national obsession with youthfulness by feeling we have to dye our hair, get tummy tucks, Botox injections, spend a fortune on wrinkle creams just to look younger. What's wrong with wrinkles, white hair, sagging bottoms and chicken wings, all proud badges of years of living? After all, wisdom, insight and a broader perspective comes with time and experience. The power, prestige and possession I thought important 40 years ago seems insignificant now. It's people and relationships that now bring joy. Give me kindness, gentleness, a willingness to listen and forgive any day!

Years ago I met this woman at a writer's conference years who transformed my attitude toward aging. She was bent over from osteoporosis, frail as tissue paper. When asked to share something with the group, she leaned on her cane, twisting her head until she could meet our eyes. “I'm 96 years old.” she said in a cracked voice. “I've outlived three husbands and had four careers. I've been a medical doctor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist. I recently retired as a theology professor. I'm here today because having 2 sons and 8 grandchildren, I've decided to write childrens books. So you see, my pet peeve is someone telling me 'you don't look that old.' I've packed a lot of pain, pleasure, study, knowledge, people, and experience in my 96 years and I don't want one minute of that sold short!” You know, there are those who keep growing and those who simply age. She was definitely growing! But whether we keep growing or just age is a deliberate choice.

After serious birthday inspired introspection I'm recognizing some areas where I've been aging not growing. That needs to change! Looking at this whole process of growing, maturing, aging...however we want to describe the passing years and life lessons ticking by ever more quickly, is demanding. And the physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, creative challenges life brings can be mind boggling! As the old cliché says, “getting old is not for sissies.”

I'm grateful that I still enjoy good health. Part of that flows from good genes, good luck, and important life style choices I've made. The food, exercise, life style, emotional and spiritual choices I've made over the years definitely contribute to my continuing vitality. My Dad taught me to value differences in others and ideas, to embrace change, to practice tolerance, to seek knowledge, to accept people as they are not as I would have them. He taught me to value the deeply held beliefs that shape my life but to never stop questioning and reshaping them as new information, situations and times change. Yes, I am getting older but that does not stop me from relishing challenges and trying on new ways of seeing, being, and doing. No matter how young or old we are, life is a delicate dance, a baffling balancing act, a time to keep growing instead of just aging in place.

Joyce Shutt is pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church.