Gratitude

Over the years I've learned to be grateful in and for all things, even though it sometimes takes me years to get to that point. For instance, out of the wreckage of my father's tragic death in an automobile accident came a closer relationship with my mother. A daughter's refusal to participate in traditional holidays at first caused a lot of family tension. Then out of support for her we were tempted to throw away all of the trimmings and trappings but instead, like the Grinch, we puzzled and puzzled until our puzzlers got sore, discovering that Christmas “doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

It's no wonder people get depressed at Christmas. We have such unrealistic expectations of the holidays. But remember, expectations are resentments and heart break just waiting to happen! All the holiday hype promises us that we can magically heal our broken families and hearts with frenetic activity, over eating, drinking too much, elaborate decorations, and gift giving which few of us can afford! Like the Grinch we've discovered that the secret to a happier Christmas is keeping things in perspective which (like the Grinch) allows our small hearts to grow three sizes bigger. Because, and this is a big because, when our hearts don't feel quite so tight we are freed to be grateful for what we already have. And being grateful, we can let go of old resentments, fears, family competitions. We can forgive past or present disappointments, slights, and hurts and approach each day as God's open future.

There is so much beauty and wisdom encapsulated in our Christmas traditions that we'd do well to spread that good stuff throughout the entire year rather than trying to cram everything into several compulsory weeks. After all, the essence of Christmas is not about the obligatory giving of things we don't need or want, the essence of Christmas is about making the world a better place for everyone. Literally everyone; friend and enemy, legal or illegal. And not just with stuff. Christmas is about gratitude, sharing, peace making, civility, kindness, acceptance, empathy, justice. “Peace on earth, good will to all.”

Happily, no longer caught up in Christmas expectations and shopping, my better half and I now give gifts to those we love and and the causes we care about throughout the year...when we discover a need or when impulse strikes us. Consequently, along with enjoying the holiday music, putting up a few decorations, doing a little baking, sending cards and letters (because I love to receive them), I have been counting down the 25 days of Advent with a new gratitude journal. In it I am acknowledging the blessings I receive each day, reflecting on who and what nourishes me, the people or experiences bringing me joy, the people or experiences teaching me needed life lessons, and especially noting the random acts of kindness I witness others doing. In the process I am discovering that gratitude is indeed the gift that keeps on giving.

Joyce Shutt is pastor emeritus of the Fairfield Mennonite Church. You can read her blog on thanksliving.blogspot.com.